#1 You Control Your Decisions, No Matter What.

Many people like to believe they are a victim of their circumstances.

That’s just not true.

I know, you’re already thinking about all those people who suffer unbearable pain, tragedy, and loss in their lives, and you’re wondering, “Of course, they didn’t choose that! They had no say in it. So how are they in control?”

And I agree with you; what happened with them wasn’t something they created or were even a part of. But what about the aftermath?

That’s where they have a choice, and by exercising it, they control their decisions, which control their future and ultimately their destiny.

Our history is filled with stories of people who emerge stronger than ever from tragedy. Why is that? Is it because they’ve suffered less than others?

No. In fact, sometimes they have suffered more.

They’ve just chosen not to let their past suffering ruin their present and future. They’ve chosen to empower themselves. They have made decisions that have taken them to a better place.

They’ve shifted their mindset from pity to empowerment. They believe, “I’m not a victim of my circumstances. I can choose the life I live.”

And that’s how their reality becomes their own creation.

#2 Everything is Your Fault.

I’ll admit, this truth was almost impossible for me to accept.

But once I did, it set me free. And it will do the same to you.

When most people hear this statement, “Everything is your fault,” they assume it means:

• I’m to blame.
• Everybody else is a saint, while I’m a sinner.
• Even when people cheat, hurt, and exploit me or make me suffer, I must not blame them and instead blame myself for ever trusting them.
• If I ever mess up, I’m to blame because I’m a failure who doesn’t deserve success.

You can see the next station this train of thought is going to. The only problem is, it’s on the wrong tracks.

When we believe everything is our fault, that does not mean we bury our potential in the past and only live a life of self-blame, negativity, and self-sabotage.

Instead, this truth sets us free from the toxic cycle of blame, regret, overthinking, and the classic, “Why didn’t they give me a reason?” Because entering this cycle is expensive. By anchoring our happiness on another’s morality or apology, we’re essentially paying interest on a loan that was written off the moment that person walked out of our lives.

When we accept that everything is our fault, we don’t hinge our future happiness on getting an answer. Instead, we just say to ourselves, “It’s okay. I made a mistake in trusting XYZ person or doing XYZ thing. But I won’t wait around for the other person to accept responsibility. I’ll take it, clean up the mess that’s hindering my progress, and get back on track with my goals.”

That’s an empowering attitude—one that truly sets you free. All you need to do is stop waiting for others to pick up the blame, and in turn, take back control of your life.

#3 Responsibility Feels Scary Because You’re Afraid of Your Potential.

How do I know this?

Because I was scared of responsibility, too.

But now, I sincerely believe that the biggest limitation on our growth (in all aspects of life) isn’t the circumstances or challenges we have, but the tiny voice inside our head that says, “You’re thinking too big. That’s not possible. At least not for you.”

And while we’d question the validity of this statement if it came from a random person, we never stop to ask this voice, “Wait, what do you even know about life that qualifies you to judge my potential?”

Why? We’ve spent so much time with the voice that we think the voice is us. But that’s an illusion—a rather strong one.

Because the voice is just a pattern, a cassette player reading the tape of beliefs you’ve picked up from your home, school, work, environment, and really, the world.

The problem is that those beliefs aren’t always true. And your inner self knows it because it knows your potential.

And that leads to conflict. Your beliefs say you can’t do it, but you know, deep down, that you can. That you have the potential. That your power is so strong it will amaze the world.

But the beliefs win. They’ve spent the most time with you. They’re comfortable. They feel like home.

Your potential feels like a bet you’re not so sure about. You feel afraid of actually living up to it because then, all these beliefs you’ve held on to for decades would just prove to be untrue.

And it’s too much to handle.

That’s why responsibility feels scary. It’s nothing more than owning up to who you are, what you did, what you’re doing, and what you will do. Remember how your parents taught you to pick up after yourself when you were a kid? This is just that (except in a larger, more consequential sense).

You’re scared of doing it because that would mean facing your potential head-on and accepting that you’ve been the limiting factor in your life. And honestly, that does hurt your ego.

But think about it this way. What’s more important, a protected ego bubble, or a life well lived?

Really think about it.

What is it that you want? What would truly give you happiness?

Once you make that choice within, you’ll realize a simple truth: “Responsibility isn’t so bad, after all.”

And that’s when your potential will stop being your potential and turn into your reality instead.