Everyone wants to be listened to. No one wants to listen.

And that’s exactly why 90% of the relationships in the world fail. It doesn’t matter if they are professional or personal, romantic or platonic, in a good state or in a bad one. When people don’t listen, relationships end.

The worst part is that the end always has a plausible reason to go along with it. People find a way to justify the breakup, the divorce, the ending of a business partnership by saying:

“Oh, it wasn’t meant to be.”
“They didn’t tell me everything up front.”
“The expectations didn’t match.”
“We just couldn’t understand each other.”
“We weren’t compatible.”

I’ve heard a lot of these variations, especially from the hundreds of people I’ve personally coached.

But the one realization they always come to is that all these reasons are the byproduct of a deeper problem—not the cause behind the end of their relationship.

The cause is often just one: people didn’t hear each other out.

That trickled down into a hundred tiny problems, a thousand slams of the hammer, a million silly arguments, and one giant failure.

If you don’t gain the skill to deal with this failure and learn from it, you’ll waste years of your life feeling hurt and confused, only to repeat the same pattern in your next relationship.

Or you could spend the next five minutes here and learn the one skill that will save your relationships in the hardest of moments.

If you’re reading on, I know the choice you’ve made 🙂

The Breaking Point of a Relationship…

…is when one person feels there’s no point trying anymore.

Because biologically, we are wired for connection. Out of all the species in the world, human beings have evolved into one of the most social and complex species. And that means, good relationships are not just a ‘nice to have’ like the luxury car or the French perfume; they are essential needs like food and water.

When we don’t get them, we suffer, choke, and suffocate within.

So, no matter what happens, we will try our best to make our existing relationships work. We may not do the right thing, but we will try because, for our minds, losing out on love and connection is a big loss.

For some people, that breaking point comes up early when they realize their boundaries are being crossed.

For some, it comes way later because they have learned to compromise themselves for the sake of any tiny piece of love or affection they get.

But either way, when the breaking point finally hits, the person feels that trying to keep this relationship going is more harmful than just quitting it and going away.

In some relationships, that’s meant to happen. So, sometimes, it’s okay to break apart.

But for most people, relationships that can be easily revived also end because they don’t know how to make them work.

And if you’ve also wondered, here’s your answer!

Put Your Ego Aside and Become a Listener:

When you listen, you open the room for discussion.

But when you counter back by saying something like, “Oh, right, so you’re always the one who suffers?” you destroy that room, and now it’s just two egos fighting each other for survival.

When egos clash, our biological instincts take over. More than understanding each other, we prioritize self-preservation (even when we’re not in any real danger).

So we shout. We fight. We freeze. Or worst of all, we just flee from the conflict and avoid it. But that strains the relationship.

And the only thing putting that strain is the need of our ego to be ‘right’ and ‘important’ and ‘correct’.

If that’s what you want, by all means, keep fighting and keep getting that. 

But do you really just want to prove that you’re right (on the silliest of things), or do you want to keep and build a successful, loving, and prosperous relationship?

The problem is, we never ask ourselves that question. We are always too stuck up in the moment and in the heat of the argument.

But if we take a step back, we’ll realize, a hurt ego is often better than a lost relationship.

And this should happen from both sides. However, if you’re in a conflict, chances are you are reading this now, and the other person isn’t.

So here’s what you can do, even if they aren’t ready to listen to you: BE THE ONE WHO LISTENS.

That’s simple, but very effective. Instead of letting your ego fly high, take a deep breath and ask the other person, “What’s wrong?”

And then, shut up. Seriously. Your mind’s going to try to interrupt. Your ego will flare up as it thinks, “Oh wow, that’s such a misunderstanding.”

But right now, you don’t need to explain. You just need to listen.

Once you do, the other person will feel heard, and the conversation after that will finally start progressing towards better outcomes.

Now, of course, there are a lot of things you can do to keep your relationships thriving, but this is the most basic and the most important skill you can build, and I want you to master this first.

So, reply to this blog and tell me, how are you going to prioritize this skill of listening in your relationships? (And don’t worry, I won’t give you any extra tips or knowledge. I’ll just listen so you can do the same for others!)