You read that right.

In the next five minutes, you’ll have three powerful skills that will make you a master at striking up new conversations and becoming someone people like to be with.

I know this is quite different from what I usually write about in this newsletter, but I sincerely believe that these three skills can be a game-changer for anyone who wants to succeed in their career and personal life.

Because to grow, we need people who support and help us. We need to create win-win partnerships and connections, and networks where it’s easy to access opportunities. But that’s where I’ve seen 90% of people get stuck and confused.

They have an awkward first hello, they chit-chat about stuff that no one cares about, and end up making a first impression that’s so unremarkable the other person forgets about them five minutes later.

But the 10% who make a charismatic impact know something that the 90% don’t.

And that’s the league you’re about to enter today. 

#1: Instead of becoming Interesting, become Interested.

The number one misconception about communication that has spread through the world like a plague is this: “For others to be interested in you, you must be unique and interesting.”

And so, we go to all kinds of lengths to come across as unique, different, and special—as if we are worthy of the attention we’re demanding from others. 

But here’s the thing.

No one cares about how interesting you are.

Well, at least not at the start of a conversation.

Think about it this way. You’re at a party and someone walks up to you to strike up a conversation. You’re both strangers. And after exchanging a few pleasantries, this is what they do:

“Oh, you know what? I was just on a trip to space two days ago! It was the best thing in the world, and I was so amazed to see that our earth looks so good from above. And about a few months ago, I was on stage with Billy Joel for a concert in Toronto. And last year, the president called me to the White House to work on some new initiatives.”

And on and on and on and on for the next five minutes.

Is this all interesting? Sure.

Are you feeling impressed? Yes.

But do you want this person as a friend? Definitely no.

Because no one likes people who just keep talking about themselves. 

There is a time and place for basking in the glory of your achievements. A first introduction is not one of those times.

So, here’s the cool news. You can drop the pressure of trying to be an interesting person.

Just try to be interested in the other person instead. Ask them questions. Appreciate something small you notice in them. Crack a light-hearted joke. And be respectful.

You’ll be amazed at how far you can go with basic courtesy, curiosity, and awareness.

#2: Have an Assertive (But Simple) Introduction:

Preparation is the key to success everywhere.

That includes communication. A few minutes into a new conversation, you will inevitably have to introduce yourself. In that moment, if your tongue slips, words stumble, and your mind freezes, then your first impression falls flat.

You come across as underconfident, lost, and confused.

It doesn’t matter if it is a professional or personal setting; this single point is the factor that defines whether the relationship flourishes or dies.

Let’s switch roles once again to understand exactly why.

Imagine you’re at a networking event. You start a conversation with someone and ask them, “So tell me a bit more about yourself, what do you do?”

That’s when you hear, “Uhh…well…about me, huh? Let me see where to…um…start. So I actually started working straight out of college, but…uhm….that wasn’t the best role.”

Andddddd… you’re lost.

You can’t keep track of the conversation, and although the person hasn’t even told you their qualifications, your decision is ready: “I’m not going to work with them.”

But now imagine this. You ask the same question, and this is the response you get:

“Ah, I’m an AI Models specialist. I work on training AI chatbots to answer accurately, appropriately, and effectively. Technology has always been fascinating for me, and that’s why I also studied my bachelor’s in machine learning and have been working at my current company for 5 years.”

This makes you curious and excited to have a conversation because the other person comes across as confident.

But the truth is, this confidence isn’t natural or accidental; it’s prepared and intentional.

So, take a few minutes, and ask yourself this question, “What can I say to introduce myself effectively in 30 seconds to 1 minute?”

Practice that script. Maybe use AI’s help to refine it and then keep rehearsing it. So, the next time someone asks you, “Tell me a bit more about yourself,” you know exactly what to say.

#3: Keep a Clear Intention:

Human beings have a special skill no computer can ever copy.

We all have an intuition that helps us see through people’s facades.

We cannot explain it, but we can feel it. That’s why there are some people whose communication is ragged and imperfect, but they connect with millions. And there are perfect and smooth talkers who have every communication trick in their belt, and still fail to connect.

There’s no logical explanation for this. But there is a human one.

We don’t connect with words, techniques, or metaphors; we connect with energy. 

The right words, sentence structure, clarity, and confidence are vehicles that bridge the familiarity gap between us and the other person, but the energy and intention we have within is the fuel that powers that vehicle of connection.

And if that energy is not aligned, no matter how powerful the vehicle is, it will never move, and you will never connect.

So the next time you strike up a conversation, just ask yourself, “What’s my intention here?”

The more honest you are about it, the better your conversations will be, and the more people will like you.

And that’s it. 3 Simple steps that you can implement now! 🙂