We’ve all been told, “Don’t be arrogant. No one will like you.”

But what if that was a lie?

Arrogance makes us unkind, that’s for sure. But obsessively avoiding it like a bad omen makes us unkind to the most important person in our lives—us.

Because in the name of humility, we become pushovers. In an attempt not to stand out, we forget how to stand up and command a position of strength and leadership.

All in all, we let our dreams die for the sake of societal approval. And when we see someone who didn’t fold like us (and thus succeeded), we perpetuate the same cycle by saying, “Oh, look, they’re so arrogant and full of themselves. I’ll never be like them.”

I’m not here to tell you what’s right or wrong. Rather, I want to show you a mirror today and help you decide what’s most important: your dreams, or your perception of humility.

The Real Definition of ‘Arrogance’:

Let’s start here because, although we all must have read this definition somewhere in a dictionary, we often distort and misunderstand it.

If you search on Google, this is the first definition you’ll find for arrogance: “the quality of having an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.”

Look closely at the one word I’ve highlighted: exaggerated.

When someone is still trying to build themselves but acts like the most important person, that’s arrogance because their sense of importance is exaggerated.

When someone only has the ability or skill to deliver you a service worth 500 dollars, but demands 5000 dollars for it, that’s arrogance because they’ve exaggerated the worth of their work beyond what it truly is.

Nowhere does the definition say that arrogance is the quality of having a sense of one’s own importance or abilities.

Yet, that’s what most of us do. By trying to avoid ‘looking arrogant,’ we don’t pay any attention or value to our worth and downplay our abilities. When perception control takes over, we start assuming that our self-doubt is actually humility. And that’s a big problem.

Because Self-Doubt is Not Humility.

It is fear disguised in a noble robe.

We say, “Oh, I don’t want to sound arrogant,” and brush off our achievements, trying to sound nonchalant.

We think, “Oh, I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.” And keep ourselves, our ideas, and our vision hidden away in a corner of our mind, displaying that as civility.

But is it, really, civility and humility? If you put two and two together, you’ll recognize that it is not. The real reason we don’t put ourselves out there or talk about our achievements is not because we don’t want to be important. (All of us, to some extent, want that.)

However, we don’t go out and get it because we’re afraid of judgment. We doubt ourselves and our ability to deliver on the ideas we put forth.

So, rather than open up to potential judgment and criticism, we choose to downplay ourselves and stay in safe ‘humility.’

It’s like trying to grow a plant but refusing to put it in the sunshine because you’re worried, “What if it grows too big, too fast?”

But that’s what you say when somebody asks you for the reason. 

What you’re truly worried about is this: “What if I put the plant in the sunshine, but it doesn’t grow? Will everyone call me a failure, then? It’s just better to avoid that.”

Ah…

I know I hit a nerve with that. Because if you replace the word ‘plant’ with ‘I’, the statement becomes: “What if I put myself in the spotlight, but I don’t grow enough? Will everyone call me a failure, then? It’s just better to avoid that.”

That’s not humility. That’s arrogance because, for the sake of something as feeble and shifting as people’s opinion, you are letting go of something as powerful, important, and valuable as your ideas and potential.

That’s why people who put themselves out there aren’t the real arrogant ones; they are actually the humble ones!

Stand Up…with Feet on The Ground:

And you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams.

Think about it. If you can have the courage to ignore the way people perceive you. If you can be comfortable with people calling you ‘arrogant’ while you get things done for yourself and make big leaps in your life. And if you can be unaffected by the way people judge you or think about you, the growth you will achieve in life will be unimaginable.

You will stand up for what’s right because you won’t be afraid of taking up space in the spotlight.

You will boldly pursue your ideas (even if they’re a bit crazy) because you’ll have faith in yourself.

You will always know how to make things happen and even be a bit stern to get the best out of yourself and out of other people.

All because the short-term fluctuations in your perception don’t matter to you as much as the fulfillment of the larger vision you have, where everyone wins.

And if that means some people will call you ‘an arrogant brat’. Well, then, let it be. Because deep down, you will know that while you’re standing up, your feet are on the ground. And that’s why you can stay there without shaking or fumbling.

Those who are truly arrogant and exaggerate their importance also stand up, but they aim for the stars. Their feet go off the ground. For a short moment, when they are still jumping upwards, they feel great.

But before they can get to the stars, gravity pulls them down, and they fall flat on their face.

That’s why, if you already downplay yourself, you don’t need to worry about that. All you have to do is stand up, not jump. And if you’re honest with yourself, you’re good to go.

Be bold. Be courageous. And be humble. (Even if the world calls you ‘arrogant’!)