MARCH 4, 2022
We all hate it.
We want to get rid of it.
But, it never really goes away from our lives?
What is this mysterious thing that doesn’t even go away when we want it to?
We don’t want any negativity, yet every day at our homes, workplaces, and minor incidents, it is the one thing that surrounds us almost all the time!
Is there a way we can get around negativity? Is there a way we can overcome it? Yes, there is! That is what we’ll be discovering in this blog post!
Why is there negativity around us?
The truth about negativity is that it will always be there around us.
There will be that one person who will criticize and condemn you, making you question your whole existence. There will be that one toxic family member you don’t like being around. There will be that day full of negativity where everything seems to go wrong.
Why does that happen?
It’s all because of our expectations. We all expect to have good days, but when everything goes the other way, we feel negative. We hope all the people that we meet are kind and cheerful, but that is not how all people are in the world. We expect our family to be supportive, but when some people in it become toxic, negativity creeps up. We hope to have a healthy workplace, but we naturally feel down when there are negative people.
This doesn’t mean that our expectations are wrong. This means that things can’t always go the way we want them to.
We can’t change negativity, or we can’t tell it not to come into our lives. It will be there. We have to accept that fact. We can change how we respond to it and change our mindset towards it so that it affects us the least and does not become a significant roadblock in our journey to success.
How to Deal With Negativity
The trick around negativity is to be negative to it. The less attention you give to negativity, the less it will affect you.
And that’s going to happen when you adopt the three following principles in your life.
1. Don’t try to Change People
Accept this fact right now.
No matter how much you try, you cannot change the people around you. Whether it’s your boss, colleagues, parents, spouse, friends, or anyone living on Earth, you cannot change their attitudes, actions, or beliefs. Yes, you can influence them. But unless they are not willing to change, your influence will amount to nothing.
It is better to adopt the live and let live policy in life. It will give you so much more peace in life.
How do you do this?
Shift your focus inwards. Instead of focusing and cribbing about how other people are negative and suck your energy away, put your guards up first. When you know you’re going to meet a negative person, have something planned later to help you get out of that negative energy zone. One more thing that you can do is pre-prepare. Before you go and meet that person, do something that raises your energy. Take a quick walk or listen to a few positive affirmations; do whatever works for you.
And try to minimize your interaction with negative people. When it is unavoidable, put your guards up. Otherwise, be on your way and let them be on theirs.
2. Forgive the past.
Much of our negativity also stems from us fretting over bad and traumatizing things that happened in the past. But that is of no use.
This doesn’t mean that you discount or neglect what happened in the past. It is important. It was an actual event, but you cannot change anything about it, right?
There is nothing that you can do.
It’s better to reflect and put closure to the past instead of letting it make you negative over and over again. That person who hurt you, that incident that scarred you, that traumatizing event ten years ago, are all things that happened once. You went through a lot of pain and suffering then, but why would you give it to yourself over and over again? No sane person would.
That’s why we must learn to put closure to the past and move on. You don’t have to forget what happened; let it be there. But don’t let it make you negative over and over again.
How can you put closure to your past? Start with reflection and confront your past. Write down what happened. Write down precisely what is troubling you.
Then ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do to improve or change this situation?” The answer will probably be no, but if it is yes, then go out and do that. Solve this problem.
If the answer is no, ask yourself, “What is the lesson that I can learn from this experience or this person?” Reflect on this. And when you have your lesson, ask yourself one last question, “How will I put this lesson into action in my life?”
With that, you will put closure to the past, and your life will become incredible!
3. Question Negativity
Many times, the criticism and negativity thrown at us have no fundamental basis to it. It is just unnecessary negativity.
But it gets to us. It makes us think, “Am I doing something wrong?” “Am I even worth being this person?” “Is everything just a flunk?” “Am I a fraudster?” and so much more.
Let’s, however, shift our focus and direction. Instead of questioning ourselves, why don’t we question the negativity itself?
If someone has said something negative to you online, pause internalizing it and ask yourself, “Is this statement true? Is there something I can learn from this and improve upon?” If the answer is yes, you’ve got some feedback you can improve on, but it isn’t negative now. If it isn’t, and there’s no real base to it, you know it doesn’t amount to anything, and so you let it go.
And when someone says something negative to you in person, don’t retaliate and respond in anger. Question their negativity. Ask them specific questions like, “When did I do that?” “Can you point out exactly where that happened?” “How do you think I can improve?” The negativity will start dissolving. If the person wanted to give you some feedback, they would feel good that you probed them further. But if it was just unnecessary criticism, you’ll notice the hesitation showing up on their face and them realizing their stupidity.
With this, no negativity will get to you.
Be negative to negativity. Don’t pay any attention to it. Follow these three steps, and you will become a star at handling negativity, and you will become a positive, happy, and joyful person!
Partnering in your success, happiness, and growth,