MAY 31, 2020
When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation, you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret.
-Shanon L. Alder
Communication is a very integral part of any relationship we have. When communication is hindered or is lacking, some gaps and misunderstandings grow between people and then result in bitter arguments. With the main cause of all of these problems being lack of direct and clear communication, we can build understanding and trust by communicating properly…
Many times the cause of all problems between individuals involved in relationships is the lack of understanding of each other’s likings, dislikings, lifestyle and most importantly – mindset and thinking. When people have direct and clear communication in which they come to know each other, discuss their lifestyle and mindset and how they like things to be around them or in their presence, they gain great insights about each other and can easily communicate and discuss their problems and feelings without hesitation.
The main question here is – how to build this direct communication and eradicate the misunderstandings and disputes in many different relationships? The answer is simple; sit down, discuss, talk, listen to both the perspectives, understand them, look at this whole situation as a third person and come to a rational and practical solution to the problem and misunderstandings…
Everything mentioned above is important, but first, you need to do something even before initiating a conversation with the other person. That is completely comprehending the situation on your own, understanding everything and based on your vivid understanding of the situation, forming a clear and precise perspective and then talking to the other person clearly regarding it…
The main part is communicating with the other person and don’t worry about losing that person as the truth might hurt, because the people who can live with the truth, accept it and make improvements are the people who can truly communicate with each other without hesitation and trust each other. A relationship based on lies and fear of losing the other person is not a relationship in which two people can trust each other and speak the truth. So, if the other person or you have been living in a relationship based on fear of losing company, both people have two choices – understand their situation and decide to live together with the truth or part ways on a mutual understanding that they are not connected to each other in the first place and it is best to move apart from each other rather than living on lies…
When you are communicating with each other to solve a problem or misunderstanding, the time, place and situation matter. Don’t do it in the heat of an argument as both of you will be in an irrationally angered state in which understanding usually won’t knock on your door. So, listening to each other and giving your perspective will only make matters worse. Both of you won’t understand each other’s perspective making the whole purpose of direct communication pointless.
So, when to communicate? Well, you need to let the anger subside and let both the people come into a rational state. Then you can discuss the situations and misunderstandings and if possible, be patient and let the other person speak first as you already know how you feel about this misunderstanding and can explain it later as well. Once the other person has told their side of the story, understand it and then explain your side of the story. Let the other person understand your perspective and then discuss the causes of the formation of the misunderstanding and the consequences it has had on your relationship with that person.
Well, as mentioned above, if the cause is lack of understanding and the foundation of the relationship is based on fear and lies, understand the mindset, preferences and the likeable environment of the other person and see how much it resembles and contradicts from yours. These pity arguments and misunderstandings won’t happen when both the people understand the position of their relationship and make necessary amendments to each other’s environment in order to build this direct communication, trust and a truth-based relationship.
Also, it shouldn’t be that only one person compromises and makes amendments as then it will be more of a compromised relationship for one person and a likeable one for another. This is why it is important for both the people to understand their positions and make necessary changes to each other’s lives together.
Another thing to keep in mind is that if you are ready for communicating and discussing the problem, it doesn’t mean that the other person is ready as well. Give each other the proper time and communicate when both are ready.
Let’s see where all these misunderstandings can happen so that we are able to recognise them and communicate. This can happen between a child and a parent, siblings, cousins, partners, friends, colleagues, seniors, juniors, fellow students etc. What matters the most is communicating, no matter in which relationship it is…
Communicating the right way is immensely important as this is what will help you build understanding and trust in your relationships. When you have direct communication in your relationships, you will not have misunderstandings and falsities overpower you and eat you away out of these important relationships…