NOVEMBER 29, 2020
How we treat people is always our choice, and if we choose not to be respectful, it can come back to bite us.-Alison Levine
Humans are socially complex beings, and our relationships with our fellow beings define our world. If there were only one human on this planet, there would not have been any significant technological or social growth in our society. Our relations define the way our world works, and therefore understanding the basis and value of our relationships is a critical step in achieving success and fulfillment.
The way we treat others, the way we engage with others, and how we value others ultimately determine the kind of life we can get and create. When we treat people a certain way, we get treated the same way. When we engage with people in a certain way, other people engage with us the same way, and how we value others decides how others value us.
Do this little exercise with me. Go back to the time when you ill-treated, scolded, or criticized someone. Imagine as if that situation is happening right now, but with two unknown people, and you are merely watching. Now, come out of this situation and go to the time when someone else ill-treated, insulted, or criticized you. Imagine this situation from the outsider’s perspective again and finally, compare both of them. Do you find any similarities in both of these situations? You most likely will find similarities in how the dominant and the non-dominant person felt in each case.
If you look carefully, you will find out that the ill-treatment you gave to someone else was what you got when someone else ill-treated you. Why so? Because who you are and what you give determine what you get. If you provide others with value, respect, love, and guidance, that is what you will get in return. Let’s understand this more clearly.
Perspective and angle play a significant role in many of our relations. When we look at someone and form a conclusion, we are doing it based on our pre-determined beliefs and thoughts, helping us decide if that person is good, bad, right, or wrong. Whenever we meet someone new or unknown, we first start analyzing the person based on our beliefs, and then we treat them accordingly. If our beliefs look for signs of positivity and gentleness, we will tend to find that. But if we center our judgment on the kind of clothes someone wears, then we will judge that person according to that and treat them in that specific manner.
When we judge someone based on our perceptions, we give them value and importance according to that, but we often forget that we are merely reciprocating and showing how we want others to treat us when we do something like this. If we can judge and decide the kind of treatment a person deserves just based on some beliefs, they must be the ones we truly adhere to, and that is what happens. You believe so strongly in these beliefs that they determine your outlook towards people, and they become true for you.
Therefore all kinds of behavior and emotions in our relationships reciprocate and circle. If we treat someone with love and respect, we strongly believe in it, and therefore we get that. But, if we treat someone else with hatred and discontentment, we get this kind of treatment as that is what we believe.
In the beginning, I asked you to reflect on the times when you ill-treated someone and when someone else ill-treated you. In the first scenario, you viewed that specific situation with pessimism, and therefore, that is what you got back when someone else ill-treated you.
If you notice, many successful people often have loving and respectful relations with others, which has made them successful. When they treated people with love and respect, that is what they got, and they were able to use that to become personally successful in their lives.
You need to develop good relations with other people to succeed and grow in life. It is not because the people around you may help you; it is because you want to give out the beliefs that you think are the ones others should have while engaging with you. The conflicts in your relationships get sorted once you start to treat the other person in a way that you want others to treat you.
All our lives, we interact with people, and if we continue to treat everyone with love, respect, kindness, and holistic warmth, then that is what we will get all the time. If someone ill-treats us, that person is only reflecting their internal beliefs and thoughts, and if we don’t think or believe in those things, we won’t carry it forward. Remember, the only way we became successful as social creatures were by treating each other the way we wanted others to treat us.
Let’s take the example of politics. Often the unsuccessful leader is the one who tells people how bad or “not good” their place is and why they should improve. But the most successful leader and the most liked leader is the one who appreciates the goodness in the country and area and suggests how the people can improve, learn, and grow more together.
Deep down, everyone wants to be appreciated and supported instead of ridiculed and oppressed. If you change the way you treat others, you change the beliefs that help you determine and judge someone, and through that, you decide and choose how people treat you.
Treat other people the way you want to be treated, and you will achieve success and fulfillment in your relations and life.
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope that I was able to add value to your life through this blog. I would love to hear your feedback and questions on this topic, which you can pin down in the comments or shoot to me on social media or email!
Wishing you great success and happiness,