OCTOBER 25, 2020
Well, if it can be thought, it can be done, a problem can be overcome.
–E.A. Bucchianeri
There is one thing that almost all of us never want in our lives: problems. If you were to ask the people around you if they like problems, the answer will most probably be no. However, there is a slight catch; we hate problems, but life just loves them! Whenever an array of problems comes at us one after the other, it becomes difficult for us to deal with them and we often get frustrated and feel exhausted. We then start to think that life is unfair for throwing back to back problems at us, but life is very fair because we already have so many amenities and abilities that other animals don’t have. The only problem is Life’s love for problems!
Ask this question to yourself, “Can you separate life from yourself?” This question is very important because it has the ultimate answer to why problems come up in the first place. Well, the obvious answer to this question is no. You cannot separate life from yourself because you are life. You are a living organism so you are life. You cannot say that on one side there is life and on the other side you are there. Without life, you don’t exist and without you, your life doesn’t exist because you simply are your life. Now, think of some very common statements that we use to complain about life. Some of them are, “Life is very unfair.” “Life doesn’t seem to care for me.” “Life always throws challenges at me.” “Life is never free of problems and conflicts.” Well, now imagine turning these statements with you in them because you are life and life is you. Then, these statements would go like this, “I am very unfair.” “I don’t care for myself.” “I always throw challenges at myself.” “I am never free of problems and conflicts.”
How does the second set of statements sound? It sounds very uncommon, right? It also seems absurd to imagine who would say something like this. However, we all do it when we criticize and complain about life because we are not separate from life. It is not life that we are criticising, it is ourselves. We are only pointing out at our own flaws, but instead of direct speech, we are doing that in reported speech.
Now, if we are not different from life, then we can also not say that we hate problems but life loves problems. Deep down, we always want new challenges and we are always curious to learn and grow through them. However, in the lives we live in, we often look at the world in a way that separates us from life, and we think of it as a separate entity. When this happens we start to feel unsure about problems and stop growing because we accept comfort and shun discomfort, and that makes new challenges a problem and a hassle, instead of a straightforward chance to grow and succeed.
Therefore, all of us need to realise the true value of problems in our life and instead of complaining about them, we should be able to find solutions and understand how we can grow through them. To truly understand how to grow through the problems you face and find solutions, follow the steps below.
- Understand the problem. First of all, you need to understand the problem and the kind of challenge it presents to find a solution. To do this, you need to question the problem and look at all the aspects of it. You need to invest some time in yourself and understand what makes your particular situation a problem, where exactly the challenge is and how can you find a solution to overcome it. For example, you are thinking of buying a course worth a thousand dollars. You are a little confused about whether or not to buy the course, and therefore you need to find out a solution by deciding on a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’. Now, to find the answer, you need to start questioning a certain aspect of it. So, let’s start with the money aspect in which you can ask a question like, “Am I not willing to spend a lot of money on this course because I can’t afford it or I truly don’t see value in it?” To find out the answer, all you need to do is look at your monthly income and bank statement. From there you will know whether it is affordable or not and if it is then you should question the value of the course. If the course is truly valuable and is going to teach you somethings that you may not know otherwise, then it is wise to invest in it, and if it is something that you must have, then you should look past the money problem and invest in the course, even if it means cutting down some of your expenses. Now, this is just one example related to money, there can be many such scenarios related to various aspects of any problem, all you need to do is implement and practice questioning to understand where your true problem lies.
- Swap viewpoints. Often, just understanding the problem won’t give us the result and the clarity that we seek, and many times the best clarity is found by understanding your situation from a different viewpoint: that is looking at your situation as an outsider. So, what you need to do is imagine a stranger who is in your situation, and without getting biased, you need to derive on conclusions based on that person’s actions. It is like watching a film and anticipating what might happen next. Here also you need to look at the stranger’s actions, his dilemma and anticipate what may happen to him if he decides to go one way or the other. Then, based on your observations you need to give the best advice you can to that person and help solve his problem. Once you know what is it that you will tell that person to do, then you have the answer to your question as well. Let’s understand this with the same example from above. You put a stranger in your position who is confused about whether or not to buy a course. You see that money isn’t the problem, but the person is unsure about the quality of the course, as the course instructor is offering very little amount of guidance for a lot of money. Now, you know the problem and based on that you will give your advice. And voila! You have just understood what is it that you need to do!
- Become solution-centric. A change in perspective has the power to completely change the way you look at the world, and it is the same with problems. Instead of focusing on the problem, why not focus right at the solution to the problem? When you shift your perspective from the problem towards the solution, you naturally tend to find solutions quickly. Changing the perspective and becoming solution-centric is a habit and needs to be developed with deliberate practice, and you can do that by deliberately trying to find the solution of the problem as soon as you understand it. Instead of fussing and complaining about it, simply ask yourself, “What is the best solution for this problem?” Put in some thought and you will surely find the solution. Seek help if needed, but focus on the solution. After deliberate practice, this will become natural to you and whenever a problem will arise, you will be able to look for the solution very quickly…
Now you are equipped with the right tools to solve a problem. All you need to do is understand what’s bothering you, look at it from a different viewpoint, become an advisor for yourself and hone the skill of becoming solution-centric! When you have all this with you, no problem will have the power to confuse and defeat you! And as a result of becoming one with life and finding solutions, you will see all of your relationships, career, financial status and social life prosper and grow!
Thank you so much for reading and I hope that through this blog I was able to add value to your life. If you found this useful and you think that other people may benefit from it, then share it with them without hesitation! If you have any feedback or questions regarding this topic, you can always share it in the comment box or reach out to me personally!
Well wishes,
Prabhsimrat